You’ve signed the contract, sold most of your furniture and cancelled your utilities. With a signature and a handshake, you’ve agreed to take a leap into the unknown. You’re moving abroad.

Uprooting your life to relocate to a new country with a different language and culture can be jarring. But for many people, like us, the adventure of the unknown is exactly what makes a life abroad so appealing.

For five years now, in the UK and China, we have chosen the expat life, which has taken us around the world from our former home in the US. While this arrangement can bring about some potential benefits – access to local private healthcare and education, potential salary increase and cultural immersion – foreigners also face a unique set of challenges. And those challenges vary from place to place.Life overseas is an ever-shifting combination of exciting, frustrating, and inspiring. Whether your life abroad feels more exciting than frustrating, or vice versa, is all about good preparation. Knowing exactly what you are getting yourself into prior to arrival is key to helping develop the right mindset to enjoy a successful life overseas. 

Inspired by the release of the HSBC Expat Explorer Survey – the world’s largest study of people living outside their home country, now in its 11th year – we have compiled our five essential tips for new expats. Words of advice if you will, that hopefully will help you overcome the initial challenges as you begin a new chapter abroad.

Tips for New Expats

1. The 6 Month Rule

The logistics of settling down in a new country – visa acquisition, finding a place to live, setting up utilities, making friends, working – take time. The initial honeymoon period after arriving in a fresh location quickly gives way to serious stress when you realize you can’t write your address, don’t know how to make a doctor’s appointment and how do you get one of those purified water delivery services anyway? 

When we relocated to London from New York City, we assumed the transition would be a piece of cake. Two major world hubs, and no new language? Easy. 

Months in, we were still struggling with aspects of daily British life. It took us ages to get our utilities set-up, banking abroad brought with it an entirely unforeseen set of headaches, and we were always worrying about spending loads of cash (all too easy in London, one of the world’s priciest cities). We had arrived in London with a list of friends of friends we could meet, but of course, building new relationships takes time, and we were impatient. Where were our lifelong pals, with whom we could travel and spend leisurely Sunday afternoons in pubs? 

All in, it took six months for us to warm up to London and for London to warm up to us.

China was no different. Except this time around we were dealing with drastic culture shock and a serious language barrier. So please hear us on this. When, two months in, you are inevitably wondering: “Why did I come here in the first place?” – repeat after us: give it six months, give it six months, give it six months. Shy smiles and small talk with strangers are the basis for many a lasting friendship so dole them out frequently. The statistics from the HSBC Expat Explorer Survey back this up: almost half of foreigners in China say they’re integrating well with the local people and half say they have found it easy to make new friends. Even in China, where the language and cultural shock is no joke, you can find a core group of friends. It took us time, but we got there. Soon enough, we found ourselves with weekend plans with both expats and locals, and our new home started to feel like home.

But give it six months.

2. Don’t Go Home Too Soon

It can be tempting, as a new expat in some amazing foreign locale, to take advantage of a flight deal and come home for your grandma’s birthday party. So what if you’ve only been gone a month and are still in the depths of your first six months living abroad? 

Resist the temptation. Don’t go home. Here’s what happens when you go home too early: everything is easy, you can talk to any clerk at any store and get exactly what you need, you can buy your favorite brands of everything and you know exactly how things work. Your grandma’s birthday party is full of the people who love you most in the world, and all of a sudden, the promising foreign life you’ve started building looks barren and boring and lonely.

The minute you arrive home, anyone and everyone will be asking you, how’s it going over there in Poland? How are you managing the heat in Argentina? Where do you buy contact lens solution in China? And you’ll smile and put on a brave face and say that it’s great and I’m still ‘getting used to it’ and meanwhile you’re sent into a panic spiral because WHERE DO I BUY CONTACT LENS SOLUTION??? 

We waited nine months after our first move abroad to set foot back on our home turf of the US. By then, we had visited ten new countries, and we had friends and thriving jobs. During that visit, we happily gushed to whomever would listen about the amazing weather in London (much better than expected) and the five airports that could take us anywhere.

When we moved to China last year, we had only two months before our first trip home. This visit was unavoidable, a years-in-the-making family reunion. We were deep into our first six months, and things just weren’t running smoothly. We struggled with the language every day, we had an apartment and utilities but we still hadn’t figured out how to pay them, and while we had met some nice people at expat events around town, we hadn’t made any lasting friends. 

At the reunion, we fielded a million questions about life in China (it’s hot, crowded and going well so far!) and put on a brave face. But honestly? It was rough. We basked in the love of our family, ate our favorite foods and spent too much money at Target on all the stuff we can’t get in China. Meanwhile, our China to-do list was a mile long and felt intimidating and utterly not worth it. After a respite in the States, the prospect a 30-hour travel day to go ‘home’ to a place that had no resemblance to home was tough.

It bears repeating: wait at least six months before your first visit home. At that point you’ll be able to answer with confidence: my neighbors in my new apartment building are great, I haven’t worn jeans in three months because of the heat, and I buy my contact lens solution at the eyeglasses store, thankyouverymuch.

3. Integrate Into the Community with Language

Frequent travelers know that learning a few key pleasantries in a new language can make daily interactions move from “awkward at best” to “oh, look, isn’t it cute that they’re trying.” You would think this would be obvious, but we have met plenty of expats who never really embrace the local language.

To develop a real connection to a new country and the locals, language is key. In addition to the Basic Four – Hello, Goodbye, Please and Thank You – we’d encourage you to add these to your list: me, you, this, that, one, two, three, where, here. 

When we arrived in China, our language skills consisted of the Basic Four, memorized with haste on the plane. Hello, smile, shrug, ummm, thank you? As tourists, or even short-term visitors, we’ve always been able to get away with lots of Hellos and Thank Yous, warm smiles and trusty Google Translate to help us figure out the rest.

But if you’re living in a place, you’ve got to turn up your language game, and fast. Once we learned how to count to three and say ‘this one’ and ‘that one,’ wow, our world opened up. Just like that we could order food, we could buy tickets, we could point to a location from inside a taxi. ‘Here, please.’

If you’re moving to a place without a language change, don’t be fooled. There are tons of small language differences and integrating them into your daily life is fun. In London, we loved learning to say thank you and good-bye with the blanket term, ‘Cheers,’ and who doesn’t get a kick out of all the fun new slang lingo that a new country offers (shattered and daft are a couple favorites).

4. Find Your Resources And Explore Your Neighborhood

You know that app on your phone that makes life in your city so much easier and more exciting? In London, Citymapper solved any and all problems we had getting around and Time Out London was the first app we opened when we found ourselves with yet another free Friday night (see: First Six Months). 

Everyone who lives in London takes for granted that of COURSE you must know about Citymapper and Time Out London because you can’t live without them. But as an expat just settling down into a life of umbrellas and lukewarm beer, you haven’t the faintest clue.

Now that we’re relative newbies in yet another new country, here’s what we do. Anytime we meet another foreigner, we exchange basic information (Why are you here? For how long? Where are you from?) and then cut right to the chase: What apps/websites/WeChat groups do you recommend? 

Our recent move from Shenzhen to Shanghai means there are tons of new apps and groups to join. Everyone’s favorite online grocery store, the best food delivery services, they’re all different in Shanghai. We’ve been downloading like crazy.

And the most vital tip: once you have these great resources, you know what activities and events are going on in your new city, go explore. We have known far too many people who have become stuck in the “expat bubble” and refused to emerge. People who surround themselves only with other foreigners and use only services that cater specifically to them. 

For us, part of the thrill of life abroad is the challenge. In China, almost one third of expats say they moved there to challenge themselves. It is actually the top reason for moving to China! 

It’s pretty easy to buy familiar ingredients at the nearby international supermarket, stick to the Western-friendly (ie English-speaking) restaurants and refuse to ever feel uncomfortable in China. But why move all that way to not explore a new culture?

We use the bus and metro to explore different areas of our city we’ve never been to before. We skip the polished, slick, Western supermarket and pick up ingredients for dinner at the local wet market down the street. Ok, to be honest, we do both, but our weekly pancake tradition demands maple syrup so we pay an ungodly amount for it at the international store. It’s all about balance!

5. Be Open-Minded and Resist the Urge to Comparison Shop

Why don’t the gyms open earlier in China? Why do grocery stores close at 5pm on Sundays in the UK (or not open at all)? Why is ‘fancy’ peanut butter so difficult to find outside North America? Why doesn’t the whole world use one uniform system for: distance, speed, shoe size, bed size, electricity?

One of the great joys of traveling is to explore new cultures and a new way of life. But as we have to remind ourselves often, traveling and living are two different things. Those things you loved in during a two-week holiday can become your nemesis when the days stretch into months and years. That slow pace of life you loved on your Italian vacation can become a dull headache when your favorite little shop seems to open at a different time each day. 

And the ugly comparison game rears its head: Why don’t they do it like this? Why does this take so long here? It is so much easier/better/more logical back home. 

It is nearly impossible to avoid comparisons. Twice a year we shake our heads that China doesn’t have daylight savings time. It should, we say to ourselves. And while we’re on the subject of time conventions, why does China have only one time zone? It should have at least three, probably five. Right? 

The most difficult thing to do as an expat is to let go and embrace the way your new home does things. Your new country will never be a replica of your home country. Things will be different, no matter how much you complain. Some aspects of life may actually be better, or cheaper, or even more efficient, but it is so easy (and fun?) to complain about the differences. 

When we moved to London, we spent all our free time complaining about our combo clothes washer/dryer. It took 3-4 hours to do one small load of laundry, and the clothes weren’t even that dry. We longed for those oversized washers and dryers back in the States. But you know what? Eventually, we got used to it, our complaints lost their steam, and we moved on. Doing one load of laundry per day became the new normal.

Now, in China, we have a nearly identical machine. But here, because the clothes dryer gives off so much heat, people have an elaborate balcony pulley system for hanging clothes out to dry. We could still be comparing the efficiency of dryers here to the US, but where would that get us?

Moving abroad is one of the greatest joys of our lives. It’s brought adventure and sparked curiosities that we didn’t even know we had. We have become friends with some amazing people from across the globe, so we have someone to call in Dublin if you want want a pint or fellow expats to reach to if we are bored in Hong Kong. That is the excitement and thrill of life abroad.

Building a life overseas is not without its obvious and not-so-obvious challenges. The adjustment can be long and difficult. But if you follow our tips and learn to adapt to a new normal, you too can have a fulfilling life overseas. 

So when you are faced with a pile of boxes in a new apartment, in a new city, in a new country, and the thought of all of the tasks ahead of you seem overwhelming, just remember: give it 6 months!

This post was in collaboration with HSBC Expat. The 2018 Expat Explorer survey launched on 11th October and was completed by over 22,000 expats from 163 countries and territories. To find out more about this year’s results and find the destination to best suit you, visit: https://expatexplorer.hsbc.com/global-report